5 Reasons Facial Hair is Clearly THE Theme of Eurovision 2014

It doesn’t take a lot of effort to see how many beards are on show at Eurovision 2014, in fact there’s so much facial hair that we made it a category you can use to help you pick your winner. Here are 5 reasons we think that facial hair is clearly THE theme of Eurovision 2014;

1) There’s a song about it

OK so the song may actually be about modern day excess and a culture of want but unless you’re fluent in French all you’re really going to hear is ‘I wanna have a moustache’.

2) 70% of all male leads this year have facial hair. . .

Obviously what the performers will look like on the night is a closely guarded secret, but facial hair is usually a fairly permanent feature on a man and based on our calculations (using promo videos and photos as evidence) a whopping 70% of all the male lead singers in Copenhagen will be sporting a beard and/or moustache.

3) . . .And so do 4% of the female leads.

Austria’s Conchita Wurst is a bearded lady and will surely (short of a major lifestyle change) be rocking her trademark look in Copenhagen.

4) Hipsters are sooo 2010

Never one to jump on the bandwagon when it first passes through town, Eurovision is regularly a reflection of all the latest trends – assuming, of course, that all those trends have already been proven popular by years of cultivated fan bases across the continent. Just like this year features a noticeable amount of dubstep (or dubstep-esque) music, 2014 marks the year the hipster generation has finally made it to Eurovision. Because retro is sooo (un)cool.

5) Copenhagen and Beards are a perfect match

Apparently the Danes love their facial hair. Maybe it’s their proud Viking heritage. Maybe it’s that the average max temperature in May of just 15 degrees requires a little facial fauna to keep out the cold. We don’t really know. Regardless, in Copenhagen the beards are (apparently) everywhere and if host Pilou Asbæk is anything to go by, then beards and Danes seem to be a perfect match.

And that, ladies and gentleman, is why you should be using Facial Hair as a way to pick your winner for Eurovision 2014. Feel free to add your own opinions on why a moustache might be the key to success in the comments.