Category Archives: Copenhagen 2014

Credits: Andres Putting (EBU)

Semifinal 2 Quickfire Recap

Because we know you’re all busy creating Eurovision costumes out of Lego and otherwise getting ready for the big night here’s our quickfire, twitter friendly, headline recap of last night’s second semi final;

The Songs

Malta #StrumHappy. Happy-clappy folk song performed by a band standing in a diagonal line. Qualified.
Israel #DancyHand. Powerfully-voiced female scares away voters by threatening medieval torture in a dance song. Out.
Norway #HashtagWatch. Man manages to sing ballad and tick off entire eurovisionr checklist without moving. Qualified.
Georgia #3MinutesToEarthButALotMoreTilThisCentury. Band attach parachute to their drummer in attempt to draw attention to their middle-of-the-road folk ballad. Out.
Poland #BoobWatch. Performers of rap/folk/dance hybrid still rely heavily on the idea that sex sells. Qualified.
Austria #FabulousDahling. Bearded lady silences nay-sayers with stunning ballad performance. Qualified.
Lithuania #Marmite. What was written as a reggae song becomes a crazy mess of noise performed by someone in a tutu. Out.
Finland #ItsGuitarsButItsNotLordi. School boys sing anthemic rock song while Superstage sets off all of Europe’s epileptics. Qualified.
Ireland #KiltWatch. Female singer plus men in kilts attempt to prove there’s no reason you can’t Irish dance in the club. Out.
Belarus #GoogleLawsuitWatch. Man who can’t sing but can move hips is tired of being dessert but not getting any. Qualified.
FYR Macedonia #WhereAreYourHipsterGlasses? Proof that club anthems don’t always have to sound completely terrible live. Out.
Switzerland #IAmTheHamsterYouAreThePrey. Guy in waistcoat sings, plays fiddle and whistles. Qualified.
Greece #Trampoline. Proof that club anthems almost always do sound completely terrible live. Qualified.
Slovenia #Flute. Woman performs perfect example of everything you expect in a Eurovision song and is actually listenable. Qualified.
Romania #HologramsAreOnlyCoolWhenThey’reOfDeadPeople. Dance music duet for fans of strangely shaped keyboards. Qualified.

What else, you ask?

The Dancers – #CopenhagenDanceOutreachProgram After previous success donating stage time to poor circus performers, Copenhagen extends a hand to Europe’s dancers.

The Halftime Show – #AusWatch Australians prove why they aren’t allowed to perform (and therefore vote) at Eurovision.

The Voting Delay – #JustTellUsAlready Voting delayed temporarily due to results lacking verification (in other words, even the refs can’t believe Israel didn’t qualify)


Semifinal 1 Quickfire Recap

The first Eurovision Semifinal was last night. If you want all the details you can find the videos on YouTube already. Or, here’s our super-quick, twitter-friendly, headline recaps instead;

The songs;

Armenia#HoboGloves. Popular dubstep-esque song is fairly boring on stage. Qualified.
Latvia#BeardWatch. Fiddles! Guitars! Beard! Cake! Still not enough to get through! Out.
Estonia#Dance. Generic feel-good dance song bettered by non-generic dancing. Out.
Sweden#GoSanna. Blonde singer of powerballad manages not to get lost on the Superstage by employing own lighting rig. Qualified.
Iceland#RainbowPunk. Men in coloured suits (such brightly coloured suits) urge you to be a nicer person. Qualified.
Albania#SmokeyFloorEffect. Woman stands on podium in attempt not to be drowned out by Superstage while singing rock ballad. Out.
Russia#Seesaw. Identical twins sing mid-range pop song whilst playing on a seesaw. Qualified.
Azerbaijan#Trapeze. Somewhat forgettable but largely popular ballad also features someone hanging out on a trapeze. Qualified.
Ukraine#HamsterWheel. World forgets tension as girl sings pop song accompanied by man in a hamster wheel. Qualified.
Belgium#GoCompare. Man wears suit. Man sings about Mother. Man (nearly) cries. Man needs Freud. Out.
Moldova#OUATnotGOT. The drama and costumes of Game of Thrones meets the production quality of Once Upon a Time. Out.
San Marino#ThirdTimesACharm Bond theme with no Bond cameo. For fans of the colour blue. Qualified.
Portugal#AreYouReallyLatinThough? Lively Latin song from someone in a skimpy outfit with a surprising lack of hip movement. Out.
Netherlands#Boring. Two people stare at each other and sing a country song with an image of a road running underneath them. Qualified.
Montenegro#IceskaterOnRollerblades. Tall Eastern European man sings folk-style ballad while iceskater whizzes around him. Qualified.
Hungary#IndependentEyebrows. Singer misses some notes because he’s too busy expressing emotion through his eyebrows. Qualified.

What else, you ask?

The Superstage – #TooMuch. Most acts are basically invisible in the pan shots. The lighting effects were occasionally great, but generally under used.
The Presenters – #PilousHair. Whilst nothing special (nor terrible) as far as Eurovision presenters go, the main focus was the mess that was Pilou’s hair.
The Half-time Show#ShinyPJs. Children dance on stage in various styles whilst everyone else just wants to hear the results already. And that, ladies and gentleman is all you need to know about Semifinal one.

Don’t forget you can still see who deserves your 12 points here and follow us on twitter for snarky comments here.


Oddswatch – Movers and Shakers in the Eurovision 2014 Odds Market

We think the amount of money changing hands to bet on certain acts can tell you a lot about who’s likely to win Eurovision. That’s why we let you use Bookies’ Opinion as one of the options to pick who gets your 12 points and why Bookies odds (the actual numbers) get used as a tie-breaker. Because of this, we’ve been keeping a close eye on just how much those numbers are changing here. So with under a week to go until the big night, what have we learnt about who’s likely to win, and who’s unlikely to make it out the semis this year?

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My Eurovision Top 10 – Jade

Based on my preferences (solo, female, pop, rock, dance, ballad) let’s see who gets my eurovisionr 12-1 points…

Ukraine – I love this song. I loved it the first time I heard it and I’ve loved it the next 50 plus times as well! Well deserving of my 12 points.

10 pointsItaly – A year in Italy means I’m well aware of Emma Marrone and I love this upbeat pop-rock number enough that I often find myself screaming along (I can’t sing) at the top of voice.

8 points

Israel – If I liked this song before then I loved it once I saw this video from Evita club in Tel Aviv. Mei has a great voice and by the looks of it, a really fun personality on stage too!

7 points

Lithuania – I’m fairly sure this is a Marmite song and one lots of people won’t like, but I love it – the first time round I played it 3 times in a row! Since then some of the other songs have grown on me more but I still hope to see Vilija rocking it in the final!

6 pointsF.Y.R. Macedonia – Although a great dance song, something about the vocal for this doesn’t quite click with me. Probably not my 5th favourite song, but not one I completely dislike either.

5 pointsEstonia – A really good, upbeat song that has been in my Top 10 since day 1. And by the looks of it, the choreography in the final performance will be amazing – if a little Loreen-esque.

4 pointsSpain – The first time I heard this song I was determined not to like it (ew, ballad) but the chorus has been firmly rooted in my head ever since and I’m sure I’ll be singing along at the final.

3 pointsSan Marino – I love Valentina’s determination to keep representing San Marino, and while this song is no Facebook uh ohoh, I love the fact it has a hint of Bond theme about it.

2 pointsMoldova – I’m fully expecting this song to make the best use of the stage effects in Copenhagen, and if it does, the combination of such a powerful song and performance should make it worthy of anyone’s Top 10.

1 pointUK – I actually really like our entry this year – not as much as some of the other songs in the competition but it’s a really good, modern effort. For the first time in a few years, the UK can happily have some points from me!

Now go see who gets your 12 points and let us know in the comments!





My Eurovision Top 10 – James

I have been playing with eurovisionr, our tool to help you find out which Eurovision entries deserve your vote. Here’s my top ten from 12 to 1 points. Ranked by male, dubstep, more wins, more facial hair, bookies odds (tie breaker).

Hungary – In my opinion the best song in the top 10, and the most addictive. More drum and bass than dubstep, which is a huge positive for me, more about the music and less about machine noises. The music video is deep and thought provoking.

Armenia – Another thought provoking video, the bookies are loving this and it’s looking popular online. Armenia and Hungary both rank highly for dubstep and Armenia only marginally missed the top spot due to Hungary’s higher level of facial hair.

France – Facial hair’s a plus, cheesy, someone with somewhat Jedward-like hair appears in the video too. The song is catchy, although most is in French so that could act as a negative! The video is simply insane… in a good way.

Norway – Norway have three wins under their belt, could this be their fourth with the beautiful Silent Storm?

Denmark – Can the hosts Denmark win twice in a row? They have a very catchy song, Bruno Mars in disguise?

Switzerland – Love the whistling, not sure about the dancing in the video though, a spaghetti monster mid-video might save it.

Belgium – I’ll be honest, this isn’t really my sort of thing and I’m not convinced it’s right for Eurovision. I think they’d do better with Go compare, go compare…

Greece – Greece’s entry sounds like a pretty generic club song. I’m not convinced Greece can afford to win, they might be hoping the Eurozone doesn’t loan them points this time around.

Finland – This isn’t quite as hard rock (hallelujah) as Lordi, but it’s another rock inspired entry from Finland, can they repeat Lordi’s success?

Iceland – In at number 10 is a fun colourful cartoony band, logo and video. An enjoyable entry but such a massive contrast to the drum and bass act at the top of the list.

Who gets your 12 points? Let us know in the comments!

Credits: Dennis Stachel (EBU)
Pictures from the Grand Final of the 2013 Eurovision Song Contest in Malmö, Sweden.

Loser Takes it All

Let’s be honest, despite a successful track record overall, recently the UK haven’t done all that well at Eurovision. In the last decade we’ve come dead last more times than we’ve made it to the Top 10. Only twice in this time have we scored more than 30 points, and it’s fair to say most years we only make it through the semis because we don’t have to compete in them. It’s not like we haven’t tried (OK some years we haven’t) but if we can’t win with some of our most successful artists (Blue, Bonnie Tyler), songwriters (Andrew Lloyd Webber) or even when we try to throw all the cheesy-europop we have at our disposal into one song (Scooch) we might have a problem.

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Does this make her British now?
Credits: Sander Hesterman (EBU)

5 Ways to Make the Voting at Eurovision Less Predictable

The voting in Eurovision is so much fun it literally takes up half the programme, and yet the voting system itself is still considered a bit of an extended joke. Even the introduction of juries to stop the whole ‘we don’t really like your song but we like you so have our 8/10/12 points’ thing hasn’t really worked – the voting is still largely predictable and the favourite still wins. (I’d highly recommend you select ‘bookies opinion’ and ‘favourite’ as one of your criteria if you’re serious about picking a winner, although we use bookies odds a tie breaker so why not have fun with some other options like amount of facial hair instead?)

Clearly, the system could do with updating so here are our ideas for fixing the voting problem…

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Fortunately our laptops survived the process this year. Credits: Jade Elliott

How We Choose Genres

Picking the genres of the Eurovision songs is stressful. Yes, I said ‘picking’ genres because while some may have you believe that music genres are a finely defined science (most people can tell the difference between heavy metal and classical music, right?) that’s a blatant lie. (Did you know several people have shown that heavy metal is actually  influenced by classical music?) And it gets even more complicated when trying to decide what constitutes as ‘pop’ in a competition for songs which have generally already won contests of popularity back home. (That’s about as ‘pop’ as you can get right?)

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